The Poll That Surprised Me
Recently, I asked followers on Instagram a simple question: Do you believe your mother has high self-esteem? Surprisingly, many “Divas” who themselves love, care for, and value their own self-esteem answered that their mothers do not have high self-esteem. 😮
What struck me even more was that these answers came from women who take good care of themselves and feel confident. It made me reflect: Do generational differences influence how women see themselves? Could stricter cultural and social stimuli from their youth still affect their mother’s view of herself? Regardless of the reason, one thing is clear: we can help. With love, attention, and daily practice, it’s possible!
If it’s you who’d like to help, here’s your complete guide.
Why Helping Your Mother Elevate Self-Esteem Matters
When we talk about self-esteem, it’s more than outward appearance. It’s how someone sees herself, values her own worth, and believes she deserves respect and happiness.
Helping your mother feel better about herself has ripple effects:
- She gains confidence in making decisions.
- Relationships at home become more harmonious.
- Her mood, joy, and sense of fulfillment improve.
- She feels appreciated and visible, not just in her role as mother but as a person.
Three Fundamental Strategies to Support Your Mother
These strategies are actionable, gentle, and powerful when practiced consistently. Use them to help your mom feel more confident, valued, and joyful.
1️⃣ Talking with Heart
Talking may sound simple, yet doing it with empathy and sensitivity can transform how your mother perceives herself.
Practical tips for meaningful conversations:
- Share your own experiences: talk about small things that helped your self-esteem, so she feels less alone.
- Start with light topics: genuine compliments, small changes, achievements she’s made recently.
- Avoid criticism or judgment: the aim is to open perspectives, not to point out flaws.
- Reinforce that building self-esteem is a process, not something fixed or achieved all at once.
A consistent, respectful conversation can begin to unpack old patterns and plant seeds of self-recognition.
2️⃣ Understanding Without Comparison
Each person’s life has its own story: joys, pains, dreams. When we compare, we risk diminishing what someone carries inside. Understanding, without comparison, opens room for growth and healing.
How to practice understanding:
- Pause the “daughter” role sometimes and take the “friend” stance.
- Listen fully, without interruptions or offering immediate solutions.
- Ask about her experiences: what she used to enjoy, what she wishes she could still do.
- Acknowledge her past and current accomplishments: what she has done, and what she still does.
When you validate her journey, you help create a safe emotional space where she can explore, accept and rebuild her confidence.
3️⃣ Meaningful Gifts & Experiences
Presents aren’t about price; they’re about intention and meaning. Experiences and thoughtful gifts can remind your mother of her worth, beauty, and identity beyond motherhood.
Gift ideas that truly matter:
- A beauty day: manicure, massage, spa, or something she usually doesn’t take time for.
- A new outfit or accessory that matches her style and makes her feel beautiful.
- A photo session: letting her be seen in a special way, embracing her essence, authentic beauty, and presence.
- Simple gestures: handwritten letters, favorite books, flowers, or small surprises that show you thought of her.
These acts send the message: You deserve attention, love, self-care, even if she doesn’t always realize it yet.
Small Daily Actions with Big Heart
Beyond bigger moments, small, daily behaviors accumulate and reshape her sense of self over time.
Daily gestures that build self-esteem:
- Give sincere compliments: mention traits you admire. Not just looks, but resilience, kindness, wisdom.
- Spend quality time together: cook, walk, watch a movie… Connection matters.
- Encourage her hobbies or things she once loved but set aside.
- Set an example: by caring for your own self-esteem, you naturally inspire change around you.
These small actions may feel trivial, yet they build an invisible foundation that supports confidence, belonging, and self-worth.
The Importance & Impact of Maternal Self-Esteem
Self-esteem doesn’t only enrich her life, it transforms the environment of everyone around her.
Direct benefits for a mother with elevated esteem:
- More assertiveness in decisions, healthier boundaries.
- Greater emotional well-being, lower anxiety or stress.
- More joy, peace, and presence in daily moments.
Ripple-effect in family & community:
- Daughter(s) learn self-worth by example.
- She models strength, self-love, and care for younger women.
- Her relationships become more balanced and affirming.
When a mother steps into her value, everyone benefits. Her confidence becomes part of the home’s energy.
Final Thoughts: A Call to Action
Elevating your mother’s self-esteem demands patience, compassion, and persistence. Conversing with heart, understanding without comparison, and meaningful gifts or experiences are essential. But most powerful are the daily, consistent little acts that say: You matter. You are loved. You are whole.
Even if you don’t have a mother, or she is distant, these principles apply to grandmothers, aunts, or any woman you wish to uplift. The aim is to share self-esteem, love, and inspiration. I also wrote an article about them that can bring you some more light.
Why not begin today? Reach out to your mother, do something unexpected, speak a truth she may be holding back. I promise, you’ll see shifts. Not just in her smile and posture, but in how she carries her own story.
👉 If this message touched you, share this article with women you love who might need it right now.